Everyday HOPE

Hopes and Dreams

It's summertime...For our family, this means that final exams are complete,textbooks have been returned and report cards have been issued. We've pored over yearbook pages and sorted through overly-stuffed backpacks. We've send thank you cards to teachers and picked peonies for the bus driver. We've hosted our ninth annual last-day-of-school neighborhood donut party, and I enjoyed watching 11 little powdered-sugary faces around my kitchen table. Another year is done. 

During May and June, I have had the honor to work with many of you as you wrap up your own family's school year. We've made many decisions need to be made your children, who have come to mean so much to me. Transition plans, ESY services and summer therapies have been discussed and scheduled. Goals and objectives for next year have been written, and progress has been noted.

The most important aspect of these meetings, in my opinion, is that hopes and dreams have been discussed. Often, in the hurry of the meeting, parents are rushed through the "Step 1" of the IEP.  When this happens, I always slow the team down a bit. This part of the IEP is critically important. This is the part of the meeting where we really examine our hearts and search our souls as we look toward the future. What are our hopes and dreams for this most precious child?

Stay tuned for more information on writing an effective future planning statement. And, in the meantime...send me a comment about your hopes and dreams for your child!

 

Think about it...

The real measure of wealth is how much you'd be worth

if you lost all your money.

~author unknown

The Final Final

Heard at our house...

Me: "Congratulations, Annie! You made it through your first round of final exams! How do you feel??"

Annie: "I feel like an escaped convict..."

I think we can all relate to that! Here's to being free of stress and deadlines now and then.

New Year...new word!

Happy New Year, everyone!
It's been so long since I posted! Forgive me. I hope you all had a wonderful holiday season.

I love January. As hard as it is for me to toss Christmas tree ont he curb and pack up the twinkle lights, I'm always ready for a fresh start. You might remember that last year, our family chose a "word of the year" instead of a resolution. The word was meant to set the tone for the year, and shape our actions, thoughts and goals. Last year, my word was "BALANCE." I quickly realized that I really struggle with balancing the busy-ness of life, and I tend to get over-focused on one project or task. It was a real learning process, and it required a great deal of discipline, but I think I made some progress.

This year, my word is RESTORE.  There are so many aspects of life that get a little ragged as we all get older and busier. As well, there are activities and interests that have fallen by the wayside as I've taken on new challenges. So, this year, I plan to restore the following habits...

trying new recipes

taking long walks

taking a class

organizing closets

etc. etc. etc....

What is your word this year? Tell me all about it!

The Summer Season

One of my favorite passages in the Bible is from Ecclesiastes..."To everything there is a season...a time for every purpose under heaven." Summer is a season for so many purposes!

It's a time for less structure, fewer demands on our time and a break from the ordinary.

It's a time for new friends made at the lake, new skills learned at camp and new destinations reached.

Summer means fireflies, bikes, hikes, and fireworks.

It's about baseball games with eager players who sit on the bench, their first pairs of new cleats swinging back and forth in anticipation.

This season is for slowing down and sleeping in.

And, for those of us living with children who have special needs, it's about maintaining skills, providing some predictability, learning flexibility, deep breaths and even deep belly laughs. It's a season for different kinds of growth for our kids--and for us.

I wish you the richness of a very special summer~I hope it will be a "time to keep."

The blessings of one sink

My children share a bathroom. The fact that they have a bathroom and we have a separate bathroom is something of a treat for us...We moved from a little farmhouse that had only one full bathroom, which was tiny. So tiny, in fact, that when I was pregnant, my husband and I couldn't both be in the bathroom at the same time!

A couple of years ago, we were able to do some much-needed remodeling of the kids' bathroom. When we moved in, there were two sinks in this bathroom. We opted to increase the counter space and save a bit of money by putting only one sink in during the remodel. Since we have a boy and and a girl, they are not often in there at the same time, so it seemed the most practical solution.

I didn't realize some of the hidden benefits of only one sink when we made that decision. Certainly, it saves some time and hassle on bathroom-cleaning day. The larger countertop looks nice, and gives me a place to put a few cute knick-knacks at Christmas time.

The biggest blessing, though, became apparent tonight. My son called me into his room to tell me that his sister's sink habits were becoming a problem. He shared serveral complaints. The biggest problem? "There is so much hair in the sink, Mom!" When he was finished, I told him that I understood his frustration and that I would certainly follow up on some of his concerns. About the hair, though..."Have you talked with your sister about that," I asked. "Noooooo," came the sheepish response. 

So, we chatted about ways to approach his sister about yucky hair in the sink. It's good practice for dealing with a college roommate's loud music, or a problem with a co-worker or a boss.  It was a teachable moment.

Thank goodness for only one sink.

Something to think about...

I was observing a student a couple of weeks ago in a delightful third grade classroom. This teacher was a master at delivering content and helping kids stay engaged with her lesson. She did this in subtle, loving ways, without embarrassing anyone or making anyone feel inadequate. Each student participated actively, at his or her own level, and the objectives of the lesson were accomplished.

I noticed, while I was observing, a poster at the back of the room that read,

"If you don't have time to do it right,

                                          you must have time to do it over."

She probably hung that poster at the beginning of the year, in hopes of inspiring her students. I'm sure she has read it countless times. But get this: She was LIVING it.

She was encouraging kids to learn the first time, with gentle reminders and careful prompts, knowing that a stray reprimand or a thoughtless remark could ruin a child's day. Or the whole learning experience.

She was the kind of teacher who knew that the time it would take to "do it over," would mean more than re-teaching content; it would mean repairing a broken spirit.

She took the time to do it right.

The Accessibility Summit

I've just returned home from Washington, DC where I attended the Accessibility Summit at McLean Bible Church. This conference, which is held annually, focuses on disability ministry. Participants learn about a wide variety of strategies for including children with special needs in church activities. It was an amazing conference...I highly recommend it! (Mark your calendar for March 20 and 21, 2009)

I attended with my colleagues from Key Ministry Foundation(www.keyministry.org) If you're not familiar with KMF, please take a minute to check out the website...It's a fabulous organization, run by some of my very favorite folks, Rebecca Hamilton and Steve Grcevich. We gave a presentation on working effectively with kids who have aggressive behaviors, and were blessed with a full room of great participants.

So much of my work is focused on kids' school lives...the Monday through Friday experience. However, as a mom, I know how long and lonely weekends can be when a family is affected by a disability. Disabilities don't take the weekend off. So many families tell me, "We used to go to church, but we don't anymore. It's just one more place I have to explain my child's behavior...People think they can tell where the disability ends and bad parenting begins. It's just not worth it."

If this is your experience, please call or email me. I'll put you in touch with Key Ministry and they'll help you work with your church so you and your child feel welcome and comfortable. If you don't have a church home, they can help you find a good fit for your family.

We're all in this together...seven days a week.

87 cents and one expensive flounder

A few weeks ago, I met with my daughter's new guidance counselor to plan her freshman year.  I can't believe it! She has made so much progress, and we are thrilled with her growth and development. Still, there is a tiny part of my heart that screams, "Wait! Don't grow up so quickly!" As I walked into the school for our appointment, I glanced down and saw some coins on the sidewalk. It took awhile to gather them up, as I had to chip some of them out of the ice! But, my efforts garnered me 87 cents jingling in my pocket. Not bad for a few minutes' work! I'll tell you what...no matter how old I get, finding money on the sidewalk makes me feel incredibly lucky. And rich. It was a wonderful reminder, as I walked into that meeting, of how lucky and rich I am every day to be raising this most exceptional girl.

Later in the week, I was chatting with a colleague of mine about the transition in to high school and, in four short years, onto the "next chapter." She said that she really encourages parents to carefully plan the four years of high school in such a way that 12th grade becomes very much like a "dress rehearsal" for college or independent living. "Without that kind of supervised practice," she said, "a lot of kids really flounder their first year of college."

And I thought to myself, "Wow. That's one expensive 'flounder.'"

Looks like we've got our marching orders for the next four years...I hope I can fit in all of the life lessons, practical skills, and wisdom I want to impart!

How are you preparing for "dress rehearsal?" Send me an email with your ideas!

"Gladvocacy"

We're starting a new feature here at Everyday HOPE called "Gladvocacy." In my job, I'm blessed to hear some wonderful success stories of parents who advocate for their kids with great results. And it makes me...well...GLAD! I want to share those ideas with you from time to time to add to your bag of tricks.

Recently, I worked with a mom who was concerned about her child's safety during unstructured times of the school day. The child's medical needs are complicated, and this mom wanted to be sure that all staff--not just the child's teacher--were fully aware of the issues, particularly for recess time.

To increase awareness, this savvy mom created an ID card with her child's name and picture on the front, and the medical issues and safety procedures on the back. She laminated this card and put it on a lanyard. She gave permission for any recess attendant (including substitutes!) to read this. The lanyard is kept with the recess aide's whistle and clipboard, so that the recess staff is fully in-the-know...This is a great example of solution-oriented advocacy!

Anyone else have a great idea to share? Email me, or leave a comment here.

Have a wonderful weekend!